Juanita Bynum to Unveil New Perfume During “Divorce Court” Debut
April 17, 2008
Next week Prophetess Celebrity Juanita Bynum will appear on Divorce Court, offering marital advice to those on the show and ultimately the nation. As partial payment for her ministerial services, the show has agreed to sponsor a five-minute infomercial during the episode, an infomercial merchandising Ms. Bynum’s new fragrance, “The Presence.”
Said Prophetess Bynum in a recent press release, “My new perfume, ‘The Presence,’ is a prophetic gift to the Body of Christ and to the world. I spend so much time in God’s presence that I have begun to smell like Him. Thus, He told me to recreate His smell and market it to the world. Those who buy the perfume and wear it every day will prosper ten times more than those who don’t. And God never lies so you definitely want to buy this heaven-sent product; it’s only $199.99 per ounce!”
However, most early testers of the fragrance are unimpressed with its smell. “It smells a little like curried alcohol,” one Macy’s representative said. Some Christian ministries are also up in arms over the fragrance, stating that trying to sell the presence of God is tantamount to blasphemy. Said Pierce Chuckles of Cry Out Ministries, “The wonderful fragrance of Jesus Christ cannot be captured adequately by we the human race. But if we could duplicate it, our King would probably smell like the wood of a cross, a rose, a lily, bread, lion’s fur, rain, and new white linen all mixed together. But that’s just my speculation.”
Ms. Bynum will appear on divorce court April 24 and 25, 2008. The author of this article urges you to pray for her return to the lovely Rose of Sharon, the sweet-smelling Lily of the Valley, otherwise known as the Lord Our Righteousness. His Holiness, our Savior, IS NOT FOR SALE.
We must stop selling our Pearl of Great Price, family of God. He’s our Savior, not a product.
(Note: this is satire, except for the last two paragraphs.)
You people might as well stop complaining. Do you doubt God told the Prophetess what to do? Time will tell. Let’s wait and see because the truth will out live a lie.
Sometime ago you posted that the Prophetess was selling on HSN, do you have exact day and time. HSN was contacted but they had no record that she had been HSN. Info needed, thank you
This article is purely satirical in order to drive a point home.
The same people complaining do not complain when you over spend on clothes and shoes. Everytime God is involved in anything you want it for free. People wake up there is nothing in this world free. Talk about the devil you are the devil. Who told you peoples that we were to do only one thing in life. Dr. Bynum has multi- talents, and she is using every last one of them. Go and find you some talent. Everybody can not do like Juanita so I guest you are just giong to hate.
Never do I hate the person peddling the Word, I only hate the peddling. There is a difference between God providing your needs as a minister and trinketizing, using, and selling Jesus to gain wealth and fame. Read 2 Corinthians fifty times slowly and with a few commentaries at hand and hear the Word of the Lord. Paul also preached freely alot. blessings….
I’ve never seen so many mixed emotions over one individual. Saints are becoming busy-bodies over media views. A body of people are becoming divided. We must focus on our calling and purpose, and God will handle the Priests. I just pray sinners don’t take anything out of context and think this is all about a dollar. Before we can point the finger, we must examine ourselves first, and God will handle everyone else in his own time. If it be of God, it will prosper, and if it be not, it will come to nought.
Reader, do not allow your heart to pass judgment, lest you be judged. God can handle his own.
Actually, a few months ago one Saturday I spent four hours in worship. When I was done, the Lord told me to sit down and write for Him, to contend for the faith. So I did. False doctrine and the peddling of God’s Word should cause waves. Judgment begins at the house of the Lord. HE wants the peddling to stop, and until it is, He wants it exposed as the sin that it is. I say this in love. blessings…
Norma, God is not involved in this.